Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Figuring this stuff out... kinda.

I am a webretard, and I don't know how to post pictures on this thing without them coming up as links instead. Please help me! lol...

Saturday, September 27, 2008

on the hunt... well, window shopping.

"Wow, this is going to need alot of work."
"It'll be fine. We just need to take some measurements, and crunch some numbers. Find out what we have to do, and what he will work with us on."
"I just want it to be really awesome. Like I drew it up to be."
"It will, hun, it will."

We are "window shopping" for a new place to start our studio. Right now we are studio-less come winter, because right now the green grass and the blue sky are my studio. The downfalls of living in Ohio are A: we live close to Michigan fans, and B: Winter= no money unless you have a studio.

My parents & I checked out some space today, and it would be perfect if I wasn't rational about money. Granted, I still walk in and see everything I drew up in my plans, the elegant but quirky reception area with the glass desk from Ikea, the shabby chic chandelier, the backgrounds hanging, my office that has black cabinetry and handmade built in desk that I imagine my dad and husband planing and building from old barn siding, even the track lights all the way to the Canon I have been drooling over.
But I said I was rational, right? :)

I always dream way bigger than I should, but it helps to ground me when I realize that I may not always get there, but the climb to the top holds alot of lessons. Grounding is and has been a big factor in where I am today. I have alot of people to thank for that, my parents (not in the literal sense, though my high school best friend could vouge for me that I was grounded ALOT.), my husband, my best and closest friends. They are the sandbags to my hot air balloon ideas. Thank you guys for always being there.


I watched her eyes light up when she saw 3 boys playing with the squishy purple bouncing balls. She could care less about her french fries, there were 3 brand new boys to play ball and be rough with. She immediatly ran to them, and I didn't stop her. French fries can wait.

I had a Senior shoot today, and I was picking up my 3 year old daughter from my parents at the new McD's playplace. My parents got ready to leave to go to my nephews flag football game and I just stared in amazement at my little girl. When did that happen? When did she become this tall and gorgeous 3 year old?

As I watched her play and sipped my Diet Coke, I made a promise to myself: Never will I allow my business life to trump my family life. I don't want to watch those years slip by.

Once at a conference in Illinois I was talking to a group of probably 5 people, of my dreams of starting a studio one day. The subject took a sharp turn when a man around my age asked, "Do you have any children?"
I said, "Yes, a daughter, she's 2." with a smile.
The conversation took a sharp turn left when he said "Cherish your time with her now, because she won't know who you are when you start a studio."
The men all chuckled in agreement. And I excused myself from the conversation.

It was like a jab in the ribs. Back then, when I was editing for another photographer, I imagined that that would never happen. But as I grow in my business on my own, I see my layers being peeled; "Hold on, honey, I'm almost done..."
"Mommy has to work, sis. Please be patient."
"I'll be there in just a sec!"
Now I see what they were talking about, but at the same time, I never ever want to sacrifice time with my baby just to live my dream. Liberty is wayyyyyyyy more important than that, and I will never sacrifice that. E.V.E.R.
I promise.

Friday, September 26, 2008


OK, this is it, darn it!
I am going to blog every. day.
I am going to make myself do it and I am going to POST THIS ADDRESS EVERYWHERE!!!!

I am a photographer.
I am just beginning on this exciting and scary journey. And sometimes I can be a total wimp.
Prepare yourself. It's more than likely going to be a bumpy ride, but I have my seat belt on, and I'm ready to go!

So I emailed Jasmine Star (www.jasmine-star.com) the other day with absolutely NO expectations of ever hearing back because, like duh, she's FLIPPING AMAZING AND WHY WOULD SHE EMAIL *ME* back....
She emailed me back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The excessive exclamations reveal how I almost peed my pants when I saw the email. Seriously.
So she said that I should just follow God, and he holds it all for me and the sky is the limit. I love her so so so much more for this. I mean I loved already with the force of a thousand suns, but this, *this* was... wow... there are no words.

She then directed me to her old blog, the one she started when she was just beginning. I have cried all morning while I was reading.

It's so hard to remember that these people all started somewhere. reading these posts and the snippets of how she is faithful and how her dreams rely on God at the same time, it's so familiar to me. I know that we all have people we relate to through their writing, but it's something about her words and the way she describes the emotions of starting this journey that make this fire in my belly start to boil... and in the way that makes me well up with tears. I am there, what she describes is where I am now, and it gives me so much more hope for the future.

I think that if I were to ever meet her I would be like the sappy 15 year old meeting the Beatles for the first time. There would not be enough tissues and I think my face would break from the smile. She is ah.maz.ing. and I'm not even kidding.

The best part about all this is that God led me to email her. I am not the type that just emails my hero's, because I know I am not even a blip on the radar...yet. I was staring at the blank email screen thinking "what are you going to say to not sound like an idiot." and then it just overtook my fingers and I didn't even know what I typed until it was done. I spilled my head out to her. And she emailed me back with encouraging words, definatly not something she had to do.

God works in mysterious ways. and I love him even more for that. My heart is bursting at the seams right now. I can't wait for the adventure he has penned for me, I can't wait to receive an email from someone as Jasmine did one day, and I can't wait to lift them up with encouraging and faithful words.

God is good. all the time.

Thank you jasmine. You have made my year. :)